starfire's insecurity
by aussiechick00
Summary: when Valior, the arrogant tamaranean hating alien, returns seeking help from the teen titans, once again he insults and jeers at her origins. this leaves Starfire confused and insecure about herself and things just go downhill from there...
1. Chapter 1

Robin opened his eyes groggily, yawning and sitting up. He looked around, the Sun was still under the radar and Robin tried to decide whether he should sleep again or not. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes lightly. He pulled himself out of the warmth of his bed and stepped out of his bedroom. He blew his hair out of his face, annoyed that it wasn't gelled yet. He trudged into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. His face was tired, but fine. He grabbed some hair gel and spiked his hair as normal. The door knocked softly and he heard a small girlish yawn. Robin grinned.

"whoever is occupying the bathroom can you please make with the haste? My hair is in need of the washing," Starfire called sleepily. Robin chuckled. He wandered to the door and opened it. Starfire smiled at him.

"good morning Robin, i trust you slept well?" she asked, fluffing Robin's hair carefully. Robin felt his cheeks slightly warm.

"yeah, how about-" suddenly there was a loud bang off the shore and the two fell to the floor.

"are these explosions normal on your planet?" Starfire asked. Robin clenched his teeth, hearing running footsteps. Cyborg, Raven and Beastboy turned the corner incidentally tripped over Robin and Starfire.

"yo, watch it guys," Cyborg barked. Starfire flew over to them.

"our apologies, where is the attack?" she chimed sweetly. Raven pointed towards the window across the hall. There was smoke rising from an area in the forest.

"over there, though if you ask me it doesn't look much like an attack," Raven muttered quietly.

The team arrived at the forest quickly, Beastboy placed Robin down and morphed back into a person, and Starfire placed Cyborg down, Raven landing behind her. Starfire gasped and flew forward. There was fire everywhere and a huge crater where a ship had crashed. Robin took hold of her arm when she tried to get a closer look. Starfire faced him, a serious look on her face.

"are you not capable of trusting me?" she asked. The two glared lightly at one another. Robin sighed and looked to the floor for a moment and the reluctantly released her arm.

"just be careful," he muttered. Starfire smiled and nodded, heading into the crashed ship. There was silence for a few moments and then Starfire gasped loudly and a figure jumped out of the ship and landed in front of the four. As soon as the figure landed the team all glared in anger, grouping together defensively.

"Valior," they growled. Valior was watching them seriously, looking tired. Seconds later a green light appeared, and Starfire flew out of the crash and regrouped with her friends. Robin and Cyborg motioned Starfire behind them.

"Teen Titans," Valior boomed, "Valior needs your help," he emphasized his name, making the team roll their eyes in annoyance. Starfire flew over the titan's heads and stood in front of them.

"Valior, you are not welcome here and we are not coming to your aid," she barked angrily, her eyes glowing and starbolts forming at her fists. Valior scowled at her in disgust and shoved her backwards hard.

"i didn't ask for your help, Troq," he yelled, icicles practically forming around him. Starfire glared at him darkly. Robin stepped forward and took Starfire's hand, squeezing it for reassurance. They exchanged a glance and then Robin turned to Valior.

"you asked for the Teen Titans help," he reminded, "_Starfire, _is one of the Teen Titans," he told Valior protectively. Valior growled.

"and why do you even think we'd help you after what you said to Star and us," Cyborg shouted. Valior ignored him and then shrieked in pain and doubled over in pain. The titans all exchanged looks and surrounded the writhing alien. Starfire's anger disappeared and she suddenly felt sympathy.

"let me help you, Valior," she breathed softly. Valior growled and batted her away.

"i don't need help from a stupid, worthless, Troq, all you'll do, all you always do is make things worse!" he shouted at her. Starfire pulled back, glared down at him and felt her throat clog up. She stood and flew off.

"wait, Star!" Robin called, running after her. Cyborg grabbed his arm firmly. Robin glared at him, "let me go!" he barked.

"your the one who said she could handle herself," Cyborg reminded.

"did she look like she was okay?" Robin demanded, pulling himself free and running after Starfire.

Starfire sat on the roof of the titans tower. She stared out at the Sunrise, her eyes and throat hurting from holding back tears. She sighed in sadness. How could she still be thought of as a nobody, as nothing. All she had ever wanted to do was help, maybe that was why he thought of her as weak. She heard the roof door open and turned to see Robin walk in, panting as lightly as he could. She knew he had worried about her, and that was all that mattered.

"forgive me," she sighed. Robin sat down next to her.

"for what? Valior is the one who should need to apologize," he said. Starfire glanced at him for a moment.

"do you think i am," she hesitated, "worthless?" she said. Robin was taken aback.

"worthless? Starfire your worth more than anything in world to me," he cooed, putting an arm across her shoulders. Starfire looked at Robin, her cheeks burning.

"besides, i thought you said it doesn't matter what he says, i thought you said you only listen to the opinions of people who don't judge you by how you look or where you're from," Robin added. Starfire pushed his arm off her and stood up.

"although it was different before i heard the _hatred _in Valior's voice, he was being truthful and i feel confused distraught and lost, i am needing to go indoors," she tried to fight back tears, failing miserably. She ran inside and downstairs. Robin stayed outside. He sighed

"how could someone do that to her," he growled.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Starfire sat on her bed, a sad look on her face. She held Silkie in the crook of her arm, leaning her head on his. she heard the front door open and slam shut, hearing the loud joking of Beastboy. She looked up and listened.

"is he okay?" Raven asked.

"yeah, i think he's okay," Cyborg responded. He sighed, "i just wish he hadn't said that to Star, she really did seem upset," he added. Starfire swallowed lightly, and heard Beastboy pressing an ear against her door.

"yeah, but i'm sure Robin made her feel better, he always does," he said optimistically. Starfire admired his faith but felt no different. She heard footsteps and Robin sighing.

"so how's the ungrateful slob?" he asked sourly. Starfire could tell by his tone he was really mad at Valior.

"you okay, man?" Cyborg asked. Robin cleared his throat.

"yeah, i'll visit Starfire in a bit," he said, and then his footsteps began to fade away. Starfire sighed again and lay down in her bed, as usual hanging her head off the end.

Robin stared out of the window in the living room, his face still angry. The Sun was just peaking over the horizon now, its reflection shimmering on the sea below. But Robin wasn't concerned with that kind of shimmer, he was worried about whether he would see the shimmer in Starfire's eyes when she smiled again. Valior had really hurt her this time. Robin clenched his fists.

"you okay?" Raven asked. Robin glanced at her and then looked back outside.

"fine," he snapped. Raven stepped next to him and looked out at the ocean with him.

"where is the usual optimistic today-will-be-a-great-day Robin?" she asked, sarcasm tingeing her voice. Robin sighed and unclenched his fists.

"today isn't a great day Raven, Valior is back, we have to save him and Starfire is more upset than the time she got mad at me for saying she isn't my girlfriend," he moaned, blushing with embarrassment. Raven scoffed, her version of a laugh, and smiled.

"don't worry, Starfire will feel better after a bit, she just needs some encouragement," she reassured, "Valentine's day is coming up in two days, you should get her a mystery gift, it'll make her feel special," she suggested. "i know, she told me when we switched bodies," she added, in sincere disgust. Robin looked at her in honest shock.

"how do you know it's Valentine's day, i thought you didn't like mushy festivals," he asked. Raven blushed.

"Beastboy reminded me," she admitted. Robin ruffled her hair lightly and walked out.

Robin knocked on Starfire's door again.

"star?" he asked. He heard her sigh again. "please let me in, Starfire, i just wanna talk," he pleaded. Starfire opened her door slightly.

"i do not wish for us to talk, i am too inferior for anyone, and especially to you," her voice strained at the end, she was obviously fighting crying. Robin took hold of her hand.

"don't you get it, Star? You aren't inferior to anyone, your stronger than anyone on Earth, you fight crime every day, you beat your sister even when she had that Jewel of Charta thing, the only one who doesn't see that is Valior," he reminded. Starfire glanced at his hand and pulled away.

"you are most kind, but i am not worthy of your touch," she sighed and closed the door. Robin sighed in defeat and left.

Starfire closed the door and heard Robin leaving. She opened the door again and watched him turn a corner. She squeezed her eyes shut and then blinked her eyes open again and stepped out. She walked along the hall, watching out for people. She wandered along, past Beastboy's room, then Raven's and then she arrived at Valior's recovery room. She opened the door and stood by his bed. Valior blinked open his eyes and glared at Starfire.

"what do you want Troq?" he snapped. Starfire bit her lip to stop herself attacking him.

"why do you assume that i am inferior to you?" she demanded. Valior grimaced at her.

"because you are inferior, you are a Tamaranean Troq and you are not worthy of this planet," he explained. Starfire tried to ignore him.

"robin tells me that is not true," she denied "he says i am truly special and you are the only one who cannot see that," she added. Valior scoffed.

"right, that sounds like Spike, always lying to make people feel better," he muttered. Starfire held up a starbolt surrounded hand.

"you do not know Robin," she growled. Valior looked at her hand in utter disgust.

"despite my saving you, kicking the butt of the monsters in your way, moving mines in deep space – even if you did want me demolished - trying to help, the monster happening to move unintentionally backwards you still think of me the "loser"?" she yelled at him, not putting down her hand. Valior spat at her disrespectfully.

"just because you do things doesn't mean you do things well," he retaliated. Starfire glared even harder.

"but at least i possessed the bravery to try," she responded normally. Valior growled and then lunged at her, taking her comment badly. Starfire screamed and threw Valior off her. Valior scowled at her and shot red lights from his eyes, colliding with Starfire and sending her into the nearest wall. Starfire whacked into the floor and rubbed her head in pain. Valior grinned. He then began running at her but suddenly, blackness surrounding him and he was pushed onto his bed. Raven appeared next to him, a dangerous look in her black engulfed eyes.

"Leave. Her. Alone." She ordered. Valior scoffed at her and turned away. Robin and Beastboy ran over to Starfire, helping her up.

"you okay?" Robin asked. Starfire looked at him gravely and nodded.

"i don't know about you but i think your fine Valior," Cyborg muttered from the door. Starfire looked from Valior, to Cyborg, to Raven and then Beastboy and Robin. She pulled herself free from the two boys and cleared her throat. Raven and Cyborg looked at her. Starfire looked at Raven and nodded discretely. Valior stood and looked at Starfire.

"if you do not think i am worthy if i defeat someone else; to prove myself, i should defeat you," Starfire challenged.

"what?" shouted the titans.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Beastboy twisted Starfire around.

"are you crazy? This guy can whip my butt, no doubt he can whip all of our butts without trying! How are you so sure you can?" he demanded. Starfire looked at him, then looked up at Robin.

"i did not say that i thought i could win," she responded darkly. She turned back to Valior, who had an enormous grin plastered to his face. Starfire clenched her fists.

"what say you Valior?" she queried. Valior seemed to begin to laugh in amazement.

"a troq against me, Valior?" he cackled. Starfire aimed a starbolt at him.

"i dislike to inform you, but i am much more powerful than you first perceived," she spoke. Valior stopped and stared at her glowing hand.

"very well, tomorrow morning, we fight," he arranged and lay down on his respectable bed, "leave now, Teen titans," he added with a wave of his hand. Cyborg, Raven and Beastboy left the room. Robin watched Starfire as she stepped out of the room and then carefully watched Valior. He then glared at his indifference and followed the others out.

Starfire moved quickly, trying hard not to be seen by anyone, but silently hoping that Robin would come to see her. She continued moving though, holding her arms for comfort. She turned a nearby corner, looking up briefly. She saw a flash of red and green and then looked back down and continued walking. No doubt he had found her, and he was probably really mad at her. She saw a pair of steel toed boots in front of her and stopped walking, squeezing her eyes shut. It is coming, she thought, please no, please no, please no

"i'm proud of you Starfire," Robin said in almost a complete monotone. Starfire blinked open her eyes in shock. She looked at his handsome face. His eyes – well, his mask – looked sincere and he was smiling faintly.

"my apologies but why are you so proud of a troq like me?" Starfire asked. Robin smiled normally now.

"because you don't know it, but you are so self confident that that part of you was able to challenge Valior, and if i know you," he said, lifting her chin slightly, "you'll win," he concluded. Starfire couldn't help it, she felt herself smile big and she wrapped her arms around Robin's neck.

"thank you Robin," she said softly.

Starfire sat on a bench in the gymnasium, panting lightly, taking a short drink. She and Robin had been sparring for the past few hours and she was tired of fighting. Robin breathed in and out and stretched out, plopping down next to her. He was smiling casually, but also seemed rather tired. His face was red with sweat, his breathing lightly ragged and he had a light salty, sweaty smell surrounding him.

"so, ready to fight the others? You're gonna need all the practice you can get, even if you can kick Valior's butt as you are," he remarked. Starfire looked at him and nodded, smiling softly. Robin smiled back. Starfire stared at his mask, suddenly feeling closed off. She carefully reached at it, tugging lightly at the edge before Robin took hold of her hand and pushed her back.

"i apologize," Starfire muttered and stood up, "i did not mean to invade your privacy," she added. Robin raised an eyebrow and stood too.

"no, i'm sorry," he said and stepped out of the room, allowing Beastboy to push his way in.

"you ready alien girl?" he asked in fake mockery. Starfire looked down a moment, then smiled and prepared herself.

"i am," she said. Beastboy ran out her and transformed into a hummingbird, flitting past Starfire before she could do anything. Then he turned into a goat almost immediately and rammed her over. Starfire flew into the air, throwing a starbolt at Beastboy and careful making sure not to hurt him. She spun round in the air and dove a kick at the boy, watching anxiously as he rose, shaking his head.

"oh it's so on," he laughed. Starfire grinned and flew right at him.

It hadn't been long since Starfire had finished her training sessions. She felt her throat dry and she was sweaty all over. But that was okay, at least she would be prepared for tomorrow. She slumped into the bathroom and looked herself in the mirror. Somehow she looked more mature now, but also more stressed out. She grabbed a wash towel and wiped the sweat from her forehead lightly, still feeling mildly sore from training. It is going to be the "big day" tomorrow, she thought, i should do the resting. She stretched out and stepped out of the bathroom, flopping into her bedroom and onto her bed. Little did she know someone was watching her from the ceiling, or more, something.

Late that night the alarm sounded. Starfire almost fell out of her bed from shock. She ran out and into the living room, where the others stood around a computer.

"what is happening?" she asked in distress. Raven glanced at her.

"we don't know," she said. Starfire bit her lip. She ran over to them, flying and resting her head on Cyborg's – she was still tired. Suddenly a black creature emerged through the living room door and rammed right into her, sending her flying forwards.

"star!" Cyborg shouted. Starfire shrieked in pain, her head feeling like she had just ran head first into a thousand knives. She clutched her head tight, falling to the ground, writhing in pain. The titans ran over, panicking madly.

"Starfire, what's happening?" Robin pleaded, lifting her head, seeing the tears burning down her cheeks. Suddenly though she blinked her eyes open and then passed out.

"star..." Beastboy muttered. Robin lifted her up and placed her down lightly on the sofa. He turned towards the others.

"Raven, do you think you could get inside her head? See what's going on?" he asked her. Raven glanced from Robin to Starfire. She hinted a smile and then began to levitate, closing her eyes loosely and sitting cross legged in the air.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos," she muttered, opening her eyes to reveal whiteness covering them. Her soul appeared and it flew precisely at Starfire, consuming her and flying inside.

_Raven, help, _Starfire moaned in her mind.

_Don't worry Starfire, we'll fix you, now, what happened? _Raven cooed quietly. Starfire groaned and gripped Robin's hand hard.

"hang in there Star," he muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Valiors POV

Valior opened his eyes. The room was dark, the lights switched off and the curtains closed. He sat up and shook his head, yawning deeply. It was silent except for distant shouting from the living room and almost completely quiet wailing. He grinned. Valior jumped off his bed, jumping up and down to get his legs awake. He was fine. In his hand was a trigger, and standing before him were three small shadow like figures. Each to attack one of the troq's powers.

"her starbolts are being disabled, sir," one of the shadows said. It's voice sounded slippery, quiet and malicious. Valior smiled.

"good, good," he said, showing them the trigger, "now to get the titans away," he said and clicked the button. He moved towards the window, looking out as a silver ship began to appear in the sky, flying towards the city.

The boys POV

"what's going on?" Cyborg asked, watching Starfire intently. She had been coughing and her hands clenching and unclenching, looking like she was throwing a tantrum for the last twenty minutes. Then her cheeks seemed to go red and sweat lay on her forehead and she grabbed at her head, screaming. Robin, Beastboy and Cyborg crowded her, lifting her and taking her to the infirmary. Starfire screamed again, struggling madly, her arms seeming to flop uselessly. Then he stopped and just lay quietly, her breathing so slight the boys could barely notice it. Robin stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, going into close off mode. He didn't even listen to Beastboy and Cyborg as they ranted on. All he was worried about was Starfire.

Raven's POV

Starfire's mind was about as much happiness and joyfulness as Raven could take. There weren't dark crevices like in her own mind, but odd random happy thoughts even when she was in excruciating pain evidently. Raven swore if she saw one more skipping Bunny rabbit she would completely lose her mind. Then suddenly Starfire screamed. Raven felt the scream, rather than heard it. Her pain, what it was doing, why it was there, none of it made sense. Unless of course, it was like, an alien "monthly cycle." Raven gritted her teeth and began to levitate, concentrating hard on Starfire.

_Starfire, what's happening? _She thought. She heard groans and whimpers.

_My starbolts, going, I do not know what is going on, _if it was possible for a thought to choke, Starfire was doing it. Raven moved herself quickly, feeling more pain as she moved.

_What do you mean "going?" _she continued, half trying to get information, half trying to keep Starfire's mind off her pain.

_Something hurts me when I attempt to release them _Starfire explained. Raven wandered to where the main source was, feeling the power of the thing disabling Starfire's powers. Then she saw it. The black creature, eating away at what looked like some weird, giant floating green blob, It seemed to be made of the same thing as Starfire's Starbolts. The black shadowy thing turned and angrily lunged and Raven's spirit. Suddenly Raven woke up, attacking the black shadow in the tower, screaming at the top of her lungs for the boys.

"Robin! Beastboy! Cyborg!! Help!" she called. Soon they burst through the door, staring in wonder and shock at the thing attacking Raven. "anytime soon would be nice," she barked at them. Robin quickly tossed a bomb at the shadowy creature and Cyborg attempted to shoot his sonic cannon at it. Suddenly the creature vanished though, as if it had been a shadow and the light had disappeared.

"o-kay, am I the only one who thinks that was too weird for words?" Beastboy squealed. Raven shot him a 'not now' look and he grinned innocently. The group twisted round when they heard violently coughing from the infirmary.

"Starfire?" Robin called. They all bounded across the building. Starfire sat on her bed, one arm propped up to keep her sitting, the other at her mouth as she coughed loudly. She looked up at the worried faces staring at her.

"what happened?" she asked. Robin walked over to her and pushed her hair out of her face.

"it's okay now, Star," he cooed. Starfire smiled at him and leapt off the side of her bed. She shook herself off, wincing as she moved her arms. She yawned loudly and floated to the door.

"where are you going?" Cyborg asked. Starfire looked at them oddly, they looked defensive.

"my bed," she offered, flashing them a smile and disappearing. Beastboy and Cyborg shrugged and headed out after her. Raven turned to Robin, who was still watching the doorway. Cautiously, Raven waved a hand in front of his face. Robin shook his head and looked at Raven, his expression not changing.

"you don't actually think it's okay now, do you?" Raven asked him. Robin sighed, biting his lip. He discretely shook his head. Raven raised an eyebrow, obviously not satisfied with his response.

"of course I'm not sure, I know she can take care of herself but I can't help worrying about her," Robin confided. Raven half smiled.

"that's good, because if you didn't she might not be here right now," she told him, then smiled small and left. Robin sighed and followed her.

The next day.

The alarm sounded at six AM in the morning. Starfire groaned. She shut off the dreadful reminder that she might be dishonored because of her stupid feelings. But reluctantly she pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes. She heard knocking on the door. She glanced up and then pulled herself out of bed, yawning and clicking open the door. The titans stood there, grinning big at her.

"ready?" they asked. Starfire smiled and nodded. Robin tossed her a bottle of water

"good luck," he said simply. Starfire continued smiling and stretched.

"may I be alone while I prepare?" she asked. The titans all seemed to stumble around, forgetting for a moment they had been standing there. Starfire sighed and stepped into the hall, walking to the gym.

_A bit more practice cannot hurt. _She assured herself. She didn't even bother with her starbolts, almost forgetting they were there. She punched the punching bag, accidently into the other end of the room. Cautiously she swallowed, knowing she might actually hurt Valior, and despite her hatred, she didn't want to do that. She saw Robin out of the corner of her eye and her face turned a deep crimson. Robin chuckled and walked over.

"your gonna do great," he promised, hugging her. Starfire smiled and molded herself into hugging him back. Robin. She thought. She felt so closed off to him sometimes though, he never admitted how he felt, what he was feeling, he was like a cardboard cutout of a celebrity sometimes. She reminded herself of good times though. Robin and her at the fair, Robin rescuing her. Her hand in his briefly as the weird pie witch tried to cook them. The way he worried about her all the time. The way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't looking. Starfire untangled herself.

"I will win, for you," she promised.

"now, troqqy, this is going to be a fair fight, none of your little friends are to help you," Valior said, his voice implying what a waste of time this was.

"I intend to defeat you myself," Starfire spat, ice falling off the tip of her tongue. Valior and her exchanged a deadly glare and turned in the air, falling into place. Cyborg, Raven, Beastboy and Robin sat below, as referees.

"you sure she's going to be okay?" Beastboy asked cautiously. Robin nodded.

"she promised," he explained. Beastboy and Cyborg exchanged a grin and Beastboy shook his head lightly. Then there was loud buzzing.

"5!" came a metallic voice. Starfire swallowed.

"4!" she clenched her fists tight.

"3!" Valior was grinning mockingly at her.

"2!" Starfire readied herself

"1!" she breathed deeply.

"GO!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As soon as she heard the word, Starfire shot herself at Valior, flipping a roundhouse kick at his face. Valior stumbled backward, righting himself and then punching at Starfire, making her drop like a rock for about ten feet before she righted herself.

"you can do better than that Troqqy," Valior mocked, his eyes glowing a sick red color. Starfire clenched her teeth and flew straight at him, punching and kicking and thrashing about. She knocked him over and kicked him so he lost about twenty meters.

"I would have expected more from "Valior"" she said, imitating his voice. Valior growled and shot red laser from his eyes. Starfire shrieked in pain and began falling. The titans stood, shock and horror on their faces. Robin bit his lip,

"Get up Star!" he cried. Starfire gasped and blinked open her eyes, swerving and beginning flying again. She shook her head and Valior just hovered there, laughing his head off. Starfire growled and attempted her starbolts. She saw them form easily but just as she was about to shoot them, they disappeared.

"huh?" she said. As she looked puzzled at her hands, suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her gut as Valior kicked straight in her stomach. She was thrown further out towards the sea about fifteen yards, swiveled and attacked again, kicking and punching as hard as she could. Valior fell about a meter, before kicking off the air and slamming into Starfire, knocking her into the sea below. Robin struggled not to jump in after her. Cyborg grabbed his shoulder to make sure.

"no interfering, remember?" he reminded. Robin took in a breath and let it out slowly. Then there was a shot of purple, orange and red flying out of the water and the titans cheered hard. Starfire shot a green laser from her eyes, knocking Valior down a couple of meters. Starfire shot down after him, attacking and punching while Valior resisted as hard as he could, not noticing that they were both falling.

"Star! Fly!" Beastboy yelled. Starfire looked up, but too late, as they both smacked straight into the ground. All Starfire saw for endless meters was rock, dirt and Valior as they crashed. The titans ran over to the hole were Starfire fell. For a while nothing happened, Robin didn't want to wait any longer. He had to continuously tell himself she was fine. When suddenly she flew up, and landed next to them, with Valior in her grip. She shook herself off and coughed a few times, still waterlogged.

"great job Starfire!" Cyborg said as she began to collapse. The titans ran to her side, watching as she pulled herself up.

"I am, okay. Valior requires help more than I do," she explained, gesturing to the knocked out Valior. Cyborg took Valior from Starfire and brought him inside while the others helped Starfire.

"are you sure you're okay?" Robin asked. Starfire smiled at him.

"did I not promise I would be?" she responded. Robin grinned. Beastboy patted Starfire on the back.

"dude! You totally kicked his butt!" he praised. Starfire giggled.

"congratulations," Raven muttered. She and Beastboy went ahead to check on Cyborg and Valior while Starfire walked with Robin towards the tower. She smiled at the titans but then her face turned to a serious expression. Robin frowned.

"what's up?" he asked. Starfire shrugged and glanced at his face briefly.

"my starbolts did not work, I could have been hurt badly if I was not lucky," she explained, looking angrily at her hands. Robin thought and stayed back for a second, before running back to walk in step with her.

"you want a checkup or something?" he asked. Starfire shrugged again.

"that could help," she said. Robin smiled again.

"I'll go with the others," he began. Starfire grabbed his arm lightly, making him turn.

"thank you for believing in me Robin," she muttered, "I could not have succeeded without you," she added, briefly kissing his cheek and flying in. Robin watched her leave. He touched his cheek and blushed lightly.

"so?" Starfire asked, her arms being scanned again and again. She looked up at the screen above her. It had her pulse and her temperature. Nothing seemed to turn up differently than usually for a while. Raven was meditating next to her, checking for bad spirits and Robin and Cyborg were checking the results.

"I don't know what's happening, scan says your all clear," Cyborg evaluated. Raven stopped meditating, a serious look plastered on her face.

"I felt something, and your aura is a light gray color, not a good sign," she explained. "do you think it's an after effect of your weird insecure phase?" she added.

"no, it has never happened before, not since I was very small," Starfire whimpered lightly. She glanced at Robin for reassurance, but he just blushed lightly, smiled small and turned away. Beastboy trotted into the room, a casual expression on his face. Starfire looked up at him.

"how is Valior?" she asked. Beastboy shrugged.

"out cold, but that's it, I hope he leaves soon," he responded. The others nodded. "so what's going on here?" he asked. Robin tossed him the results. Beastboy nodded, evaluating carefully,

"I don't get it," he said, tossing the clipboard back to Robin.

"it's something to do with the weird attack she had last night I bet," Raven mumbled. Beastboy nodded.

"do we know how to fix it?" he asked. The others shook their heads. "I bet Valior could tell us, she was attacked just after her challenge right?" he offered. Starfire considered this, bewildered since it could be a possibility. She hugged her knees up to her chest. The others watched her for a minute before speaking.

"do you wanna go talk to him?" Robin asked. Starfire smiled but shook her head.

"I believe I have infuriated him enough," she explained. Robin nodded and he, Raven and Cyborg left the room. Beastboy smiled at her, coming over and sitting next to her.

"you did great, Star," he said. Starfire smiled again.

"thank you, I am glad I managed to defeat him," she responded. Beastboy grinned.

"you know, Robin almost dove in after you when you fell," he informed. Starfire blushed and twiddled her hair around her finger.

"he is kind, he would have done it for any of us," she tried to cover it up. Beastboy chuckled.

"come on, you know he's madly in love with you, and I know you are too, you really aren't very good at hiding it," he told her. Starfire felt her face flush, she bit her lip and sighed, defeated.

"I know, I cannot help it, but I will never be able to tell him, I will not ever be able to do the "going out" he is to, shy," she confided, embarrassed and not sure if Beastboy was the right person to tell.

"don't worry, he'll come around, after a bit," Beastboy assured, putting a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly there was a massive explosion and both Beastboy and Starfire fell to the floor.

_Of course, this is my life, of course this will happen,_ Starfire thought as she heard three earsplitting screams.


	6. Chapter 6

Starfire heard the screams and felt as if a wrench had ripped her heart. She looked at Beastboy and the moment they looked at each other they knew exactly who had screamed. The two ran to the window and leapt out. Beastboy switched into a peregrine falcon and they both flew down to the exploded room. Starfire zoomed in. Valior stood there, with Raven and Cyborg in his hands, holding them up effortlessly. Robin ran to Beastboy and Starfire's side, pulling out an electric disk and aiming it at Valior, while Starfire prepared a laser, her eyes glowing green and Beastboy switched into a, green, tiger. Valior laughed, shooting at them with a laser. Starfire screamed in anger and shot Valior with her own laser. Valior stumbled and dropped Raven and Cyborg, who jumped up and attacked.

"Idiot," Raven said. her black energy engulfed Valior and kept him still as he struggled. Cyborg glared at his angry face and dramatically hit him with a sonic cannon. Valior writhed in pain and shot them both with the laser beam. Starfire flew at him, hitting him with a punch so intense it could've shattered a humans rib cage. But Valior just staggered backwards, glared and her and threw a smoke bomb to the floor. When the smoke cleared, Valior was gone from the room. Raven, Cyborg and Robin remained. Beastboy switched back to normal.

"so, I guess we won't be looking after that dude anymore?" he guessed. The others looked at him in annoyance and began to look around. The whole room, Starfire only just realised, was completely trashed. There was rubble everywhere and half of the window was gone. She flew back towards the window, turned and gasped. she felt her heart in her throat when she saw Robin out cold, sprawled across the floor with his electric disk in his hand. She flew over and lifted him, pulling him up and taking him to the others.

"go and take him somewhere Valior won't find him," Cyborg instructed once he had checked Robin over. Starfire looked from Cyborg to Robin for a long while.

"humans are no match for his kind, I am to "go after" him later," Starfire growled flying out of the Tower. After she was about one hundred meters away she heard a load of other explosions go off and flipped round. She fought back tears as she looked at her destroyed home and closed her eyes, switching her sadness into anger. And reluctantly she looked away and flew off.

Starfire sat on the rock ledge she had landed on with Robin, who lay out cold on the floor by her. She looked down at him face. His hair was glistening and spikey from his hair gel, and partly the rain. His skin was so inviting, so soft and clear. Starfire touched his cheek, stroking his face gently. She wanted him to wake up soon, so she knew he was okay, but part of her enjoyed being able to have him to herself without him being his masked shy self.

"Robin," she cooed, taking hold of his gloved hand and holding it in hers. She loved the feeling of his hand in hers, his touch was glorious. She always felt a warm and inviting shiver run up her when he touched her hand or when they shared a glance. Starfire bit her lip. She thought about what Beastboy had told her, wondered if it was true. She glanced at Robin's calm, now sleeping face. Then she knew it was very true. Suddenly Robin opened his eyes and sat up. Starfire removed her hand from his and sat, blushing. She looked at his alarmed expression.

"you are awake," she sang, happily. "I am glad," she added. Robin looked around and then sat down with her.

"where are we?" he asked, "and how long have I been out?" Starfire shrugged. She looked at the tablet she had made when she left Silky here.

"this is the same place I abandoned Silky," she pointed in the distance where Robin could just barely see the Tower. "and you have been "out" for about an hour," she explained. Robin bit his lip, looking at Starfire apologetically.

"sorry," he said. Starfire giggled and smiled at him.

"it is okay, I have enjoyed the quiet," she said. Robin shook his head and sat by her. The rain fell a bit lighter now, pattering on the rocks above them. They sat in silence for a few minutes enjoying each others company. The sky was still slightly light though mostly covered in large grey and black cloud. Starfire shivered lightly and went toward the back of the cave where there was no rain fall. Robin glanced at her and followed her. He sat next to her and their shoulders bumped lightly. They both blushed.

"what even created that awful explosion?" Starfire asked, though she already knew.

"Valior set it off, apparently he's a sore loser," Robin responded. Starfire giggled and yawned. She leant her chin on her knees as she pulled them up to her chest.

"I am glad we are all safe, and I am glad no one is hurt," she said then looked up at him, "why do you wear that mask?" she asked. Robin blushed, shocked that anyone would cut right to it. He looked away, shrugging.

"it's part of my secret identity," he said. Starfire chuckled.

"your "secret identity" is not very secret, Robin. People are aware of who you are, they do not care if you travel into the city like that," she said, "are you suggesting the Teen Titans will disintegrate soon and you will need your identity?" she asked. Robin swallowed. Starfire took hold of the corner of his mask and pulled at it. Robin held her hand.

"I can't show people my true self, I'm not you, you don't know about my past," he said, "I'm ashamed of my life before, and I can't bare for people to see me as my younger self," he added. Starfire turned his face so he would just look at her.

"I am not ashamed of you, no matter what your former self was," she said and pulled off his mask. She sighed in awe at the beauty of his eyes; the dark chocolate eyes that shone in embarrassment. She looked deep into them; loving the way they desperately sought hers. His face was burning red and yet his eyes were captivated, never able to look away from her. Starfire touched his cheek.

"see? There is nothing to be ashamed of," she cooed as she caressed his cheek. Robin spoke into her ear softly

"thank you," he muttered, moving his lips millimetres from hers. Starfire felt his fingers entwining with hers as they held hands subconsciously.

"is there anything else you wish to inform me about?" Starfire whispered, her breath light and almost gone.

"nothing I can't show," Robin breathed as his lips met hers. Starfire held her breath, just enjoying the feeling of her lips on his. His mouth was soft and moist and his hands around her cold waist. Starfire took in a breath and wrapped her arms around Robins neck, meshing her hand in his wet hair._ Robin, Robin is here with me..._Starfire thought absently as she continued to kiss him. Robin tilted his head slightly, kissing her softly, timidly. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, smashed together. When they finally broke apart both were breathing raggedly, grinning.

"wow, for an alien you're pretty good at that," Robin joked, hiding his astonishment and Starfire smiled.

"shall we go and locate the others?" She asked. Robin nodded. He pulled away from her and stood up walking a few steps away before turning on his heels and smiling at her.

"let's fly," he said, pushing his mask back on. Starfire grinned and took his hand, running to the edge of the cliff and flying out into the early evening.

"Cyborg? Beastboy? Raven? Can you hear me? respond please," Starfire called into her communicator. She flew above Robin, who was riding his motorcycle. They had been searching the city for hours.

"are you sure they aren't back home?" Robin asked. Starfire shook her head.

"I am sure they would have seen us," she explained. Robin nodded and continued moving. They crossed the city again. Suddenly Starfire stopped, Robin twisted round to see her.

"what is it?" he asked. Starfire smiled gleefully.

"I have located Cyborg and Beastboy!" she squeaked, "they are on 57th street, near the parlor for pizzas," she sang. Robin nodded, smiling and turning, beginning to move again. The two zoomed across the city, stopping every now and then to check where the others were. They were silent, but knew exactly what the other was thinking. Starfire stared down at Robin, wondering whether she would ever feel as close to him as she had less than four hours before. She hoped he would not try to hide how he felt because of the fear that was burdening him. He had a lot on his shoulders, and Starfire pondered on whether she would just put more onto them. she stopped flying a minute, just watching him move so gracefully on his motorcycle. Robin looked up, but seeing Starfire not above him he turned, a concerned look plastered to his handsome face.

"what is it, Star?" he asked. Starfire shook her head.

"I was just contemplating. Perhaps I should search for Raven by myself while you search for the boys," she said, biting her lip. Robin raised an eyebrow.

"how come?" he asked. Starfire smiled and shook her head.

"I believe it would quicken our mission," she explained. Robin thought about this, and also why Starfire suddenly seemed so distant.

"okay, but be careful," he agreed reluctantly, tossing her a quick grin before spinning on his motorbike and zooming away. Starfire wondered if this was how it felt to betray the one you loved the most...


	7. Chapter 7

Raven POV

"so why are we hiding again?" Raven asked. Her deep purple eyes scanned the city carefully. Cyborg and Beastboy sat further inside the abandoned building.

"because if we leave we could be attacked by Valior, you heard the lady, we can't fight him," Cyborg said. "and why did you break your communicator earlier anyway?" he added. Raven raised and lowered her eyebrows and used her powers to hit Cyborg with a random stick.

"because you moron, we need to make sure we can't be tracked, don't you think Valior would be smart enough to use our central computer to find us?" she snapped. Beastboy rolled his eyes.

"why are you so superstitious Raven?" he asked. Raven glared at him.

"I don't want anyone getting hurt," she said quietly. "now, hand me your communicators."

Robin POV

Robin skidded to a stop on his motorbike. The signal blinked out. He raised an eyebrow. He looked around. He was close to where the signal had been anyway. Quickly, he jumped off his motorbike and ran in the general direction of where the signal had been. It had been close to the old candy store, probably high up. He hoped he would find them soon. It was one thing to have to separate just two of them, but all five was too much for him to handle without being a little worried. If you dare get yourselves hurt, he thought, I'll kill you. A euphemism he knew, but it would still be too much to bear. He couldn't wait any longer. Slowly he ran his tongue over his lips. He lifted his communicator.

"Star? Found her?" he asked.

"not yet, Robin, I will continue searching, notify me please if you discover their whereabouts," the alien chimed worriedly. "I wonder why they left the tower anyway?" she wondered. She stopped talking for a while, and then Robin heard a loud scream and what seemed like some form of muffled growl.

"Starfire!" he shouted and ran back to his motorbike. He leapt onto it and then stopped. He felt his mind ripped in two. He gritted his teeth. They others may be in big danger, but this thing that attacked Starfire might hurt them anyway if he didn't get rid of it first. The others can wait, he convinced himself and revved up the engine of his motorbike.

Starfire POV

_What is happening? Oh, this hurts so much, _Starfire thought. There was nothing but darknes surrounding her, she was sure that by now she should have fallen to the floor. But strangely she was still airbourne. But how she longed for this pain to disappear, to be able to fall the floor and have the pain go forever. But that was obviously impossible. It felt just the same as before, like someone was trying to take something away, Something trying to take something away from her that was inside her. Like an ability, or a knowledge. Either way it hurt more than broken ribs. Robin, where are you? She could barely even manage that in her own mind. As soon as she thought of her friends, or of her family it felt like someone stabbing her with a dagger in her guts. Something trying to take something away...she thought hazily, cannot think about my...friends...then it hit her. She screamed out no. As she spoke this the darkness engulfed her. She screamed in pain. It hurt so much she couldn't even summon up words to describe it. the pain continued to drag on, as if it was biting at her and trying to make her suffer. She felt herself flying around in distress, though she hadn't tried to at all. It was like something was controlling her. she felt like she had died and come back from the dead.

"Starfire!" called a voice.

Robin POV

Robin stared up at his friend. She was screaming in pain from something that wasn't there. Like she had been poisoned or something. She jerked about lifelessly, clutching her head as she screamed with pain. There were tears in her strong eyes that fell like rain down her cheeks. Robin could barely move. He was so afraid. There was nothing he could do. He heard loud laughing and suddenly, out of nowhere, Valior appeared. He looked smug and powerful. He was staring vengefully down at Robin. His face then turned to Starfire and back down to Robin. He put his hands to his face with mock horror.

"oh whatever can you do?" he mocked, "oh wait, nothing!" he spat. Robin glared up at him and threw a bomb up at him.

"what did you do to her?" he yelled, jumping into the air and pole vaulting on a rooftop. Valior looked at Starfire with a proud gaze. She seemed to have stopped screaming now, more just moans. It was as if the pain was disappearing.

"just watch, Robin, I've given a few modifications to our good friend Troqqy here," Valior said. Robin raised an eyebrow, confused. He looked at Starfire. Her back was slumped as if something was holding her up in the air. By now the moans had stopped as well, she was just floating there, with her eyes squeezed shut.

"Starfire?" Robin asked anxiously. He was prepared for whatever happened. Starfire lifted her head up. She straightened out her back, but yet she still didn't open her eyes.

"hey, why won't she open her eyes? what's happening?" Robin demanded. Valior raised and lowered his eyebrows. Then he winked.

"you'll see," he said. he turned to Starfire and lifted her chin, "Memphis, Sarlet, Kumiko," he said as if he were calling something young and primitive. Robin narrowed his gaze. Valior flew back, out of Starfire's way. Robin watched Valior with anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Starfire's eyelids squinted and then flickered open. Robin gasped in horror. Starfire's eyes were completely black. It was like something was covering them. they looked like pools of black water. There seemed to be no emotion in them. she just stared blankly around, instead of her usual curiosity. Robin stepped backwards in shock. He glared at Valior.

"what did you do to her?" he shouted. Valior looked at him innocently.

"emotions are useless, they hold people back, the thing inside Starfire is holding onto her emotions so that she may fight with the upmost of power, no holding back," he explained as if he was finding an excuse for forgetting homework. Robin blinked.

"fight who?" he asked. Valior looked at him in slight shock.

"oh, you don't know? It's not obvious?" he responded, "why you of course," he cooed darkly. Robin spun round to Starfire.

"fight me?" he exclaimed. Starfire stared at him blankly. It was as if she didn't recognise him. "she wouldn't fight me, she always says she's worried she'll hurt me," he tried to assure himself. Starfire blinked.

"I must fight, I am, a fighter," she said to herself as if it was an order. Her hands began to glow green, along with her eyes and she raised a hand up. She pointed her hand at Robin.

"Starfire, no, bad girl," Robin stuttered, he was actually terrified.

"I must fight," Starfire said. and with that, she shot a starbolt.


	8. closing chapter

Chapter 8

Everything around Robin seemed to slow down. he could see the starbolt heading straight for him, but yet he didn't move, couldn't. He wasn't sure whether it was because he would never leave his best friend's side, or whether he was to afraid to move. Either way, he didn't move. He would rather get hit and killed than attack her. Starfire blinked. But she continued to shoot at him.

"well done Shuriken punch him, shoot him, do whatever it takes to win!" Valior jeered. Starfire closed her eyes and placed her hand on her head. She moaned for a moment and then opened her eyes again, her eyes still black. The confused, scared look disappeared and changed back to vicious fury. This gave Robin enough time to move out of the way. He dodged each of her starbolts, watching her begin to get impatient.

"I thought you said you got rid of all emotions? And why did you name it after a shuriken?" Robin yelled at Valior. Valior laughed.

"I got rid of all emotions that make her, her. Like love, remorse, sympathy, confusion, justice, determination, freedom...giddiness," he confirmed. Robin threw a boomerang at him. And then felt a sharp pain like electricity hit him. He collapsed on the ground, feeling like he was going to be sick. He remembered this kind of pain. He looked up and saw Starfire had stopped shooting. She lowered her hand and flew over to him. She looked angry. She grabbed Robin by his shirt and pulled him off the floor.

"you must also fight," she commanded. Robin stared at her. He felt too weak to fight, amazed that just one starbolt could take that much energy away from him.

"I can't," Robin mumbled. Starfire glared at him and threw him back onto the floor.

"if you do not fight, you will die," she clarified to him. Robin was horrified. He was heartbroken that Valior could do something like this, and horrified that Starfire would allow herself to be taken over.

"Starfire, get that stupid emotion holding thing out of you, you can control it, it's inside you!" he shouted at her. Starfire blinked. Her face was impassive, but her eyes blinked green for about half a second. She growled at Robin and raised her arm, preparing a starbolt.

"I will never let her go!" she shrieked at him. Her voice was different though, it was deeper and full of hatred and need. "prepare yourself Robin, or you will not survive," her voice returned to normal about halfway through the sentence. The next thing that happened, happened too fast for Robin to register. In the split second that Starfire shot the starbolt, Raven had appeared, transported Robin out of the way, and Beastboy had turned into a cobra, now warning Starfire to beat it. Raven placed Robin out of sight.

"stay," she said, and disappeared out again. Cyborg stood behind Beastboy, aiming his sonic cannon at Starfire. Starfire stood steady, her starbolt still held in her hand. Cyborg's teeth were clenched. He looked so nervous, he couldn't shoot her.

"don't make me do it," he warned. Starfire glared at him. There was a terrible silence after that. Each of them were daring the other to attack, but neither would cave in that easily.

"I must fight," Starfire declared again. Beastboy shook his head, not believing what he saw. Starfire fired her starbolt. At the same moment Cyborg shot his sonic cannon. Cyborg grabbed Beastboy and jumped out of the way. Robin heard a shrill scream. He leapt to see what happened. Starfire's eyes were shut and she was losing altitude fast. Robin took in a breath a jumped out of the building he was hidden in. He dove fast, keeping streamlined. He didn't care that the wind was whipping his face like a dozen knives, or that he could barely breathing the air was rushing past him so much. All he cared about was rescuing Starfire. He was level with her now and grabbed hold of her wrist. He shot a rope and swung himself and Starfire up to the top of the rooftops. Starfire's eyes blinked open a few minutes after. She stared up at Robin and the others with no expression.

"you rescued me," she said. she sounded surprised. "why?" she demanded, sitting upright. She seemed oddly defensive and held her arm up in case they attacked her. She stared around at the titans warily.

"because," Robin said, turning her to face him, "you might not remember, but we're your friends," he explained. Starfire sucked in a breath and gripped her head. She screamed in pain. Her eyes squeezed shut and blackness surrounded her. It seemed to be lightening, flashing before the other's eyes. they stared at her in wonder. Valior stared too, shocked. Starfire stood up, and threw herself off the side of the building, floating and hovering and jerking about. Thousands of thoughts flashed into her brain. Her friends, her enemies, fighting, playing cards, eating with her friends, shooting starbolts, her sister, Slade, Robin kissing her, Beastboy comforting her, it was too much. She continued to scream, but lost breath fast. She blinked open her eyes. they were normal. But shut quickly and reopened, black. She shot a starbolt at the titans, who dodged out of the way. Then she shot one at Valior, who also dodged.

"help me!" Starfire screamed. It felt like a thousand knives stabbing into her brain. the shuriken attacking her seemed to be shoved out of her head, screeching. It screeched and screamed and yelled, circling her and trying to get back inside. but for some reason it bounced off an invisible force. By now she had stopped screaming, and had curled in a ball, moaning loudly. She was more scared than in pain now. She flew around, trying to get rid of it. soon she stopped moaning too, she didn't open her eyes though. Suddenly Valior shot the shuriken with a laser and Starfire plummeted down to the roof. She groaned a bit and rubbed her head. Robin and the others ran over to her.

"you feeling okay?" he asked. Starfire turned to face him. She blinked open her eyes.

"yes, Robin, I am," she said. Valior glared down at them.

"no!" he shouted. The others got into a battle stance. They pushed Starfire behind them.

"is it possible to leave her alone for once? How many times must I say it?" Raven moaned. Valior glared at them all. He softened his gaze. Then he folded his arms.

"I guess I'm out matched, you win, little heroes," he taunted, spinning and flying off. Robin and the others watched him leave in shock, they stared after him.

"well that was unexpected," Beastboy muttered. Robin turned to Starfire. She was rubbing her temples lightly, seeming to try and get rid of something.

"anything the matter?" Robin asked. Starfire smiled at him.

"it is just an energy slump. We should go home," she informed. The others nodded and began to take off. Robin took hold of Starfire's hand and she lifted him.

"thank you for rescuing me Robin, that was the nicest Valentines gift that any human could present to me," she said to him.


End file.
